21 month catch-up

It's been a long, long while! I often feel bad about not keeping this blog up, since I like to have it for posterity. Yet every day I spend with my amazing little man, I realize that the memories are collecting in my mind and heart, and that's enough for now.

It's very busy having a toddler to run after; I give a lot of credit to people like my sister who stay home with multiple kids and don't get a break. Being a stay-at-home-mom is by far the best, yet hardest, job I've ever done but I love it even more than I thought I would. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend their days with this little cutie?

 

At 21 months old, Tate is so bright - he talks a mile a minute, occasionally using sentences including conjunctions and (proper) pronouns. When you ask "What's your name?" he responds "Tate Burrr-ton!" with a cute little British accent. He counts to 10 all by himself and can identify quite a few letters and colors. He's a champ with silverware and can eat a whole thing of yogurt (his favorite along with peanut butter toast, broccoli and strawberries) without making a mess. He has so much energy and never stops moving. Never.

 

His favorite thing is baseball; he likes to play it, watch it and talk about it nonstop - even in his sleep! He has quite the arm and swing, and never goes anywhere without his baseball and glove. While watching the Tigers a couple weeks ago, he pointed to the TV and said excitedly, "Dey hit the ball...dey run the bases!" Yes, Tate, yes they do.

Swiiiiing, batter batter! from Amy B on Vimeo.

 

He doesn't need a lot of sleep to be awesome (tired mama alert!) and is very funny, making us laugh all day long at the things he says and does. Like, when he has a messy diaper, he comes to me and says "I poop, mama!" and while I'm changing it, he waves his hand in front of his nose and says "Shew-weee!" And then when we go take his (cloth) diaper to the the toilet to spray it out, he watches me patiently and then flushes the toilet, waving and yelling "BYE BYE, POOP!"  This kid is a trip.

He gives hugs -complete with pats on the back- and kisses freely, says "please, thank you, bless you and excuse me" without being prompted, and will say "I love you, mama!" out of the blue, which always leaves me gobsmacked and feeling so proud.

When he wakes up in the morning, he often asks "Where dada go?" with his hands raised in a question, and when he hears the garage door open at the end of the work day, he runs to the door and yells "Yaaaay, dada home!" I love watching Mark and Tate play together - they have such an awesome bond that warms my heart and makes me so excited for what the future holds.

It amazes me how wonderful and all-around great our kiddo is and I feel so beyond lucky that I get to be his mama. I know it's a mother's job to think their child is the sweetest, smartest and best thing ever, but really? MINE SO IS. On that note, I'm off to play with my boy - he's singing "Happy birthday to mama" right now and I don't want to miss a thing.  

My Boob-Man

Since it's World Breastfeeding Week, I thought now would be a great time to talk about something I do many times a day, something that keeps my boy alive, healthy and thriving. I've mentioned here that I nurse Tate, but I've never taken the time to really talk about how much I love and appreciate being able to do so. Aside from being blessed with a healthy baby, the only thing I wished for when I was pregnant was that I would be able to breastfeed without too many complications. There were the obvious reasons of it being cheaper and more beneficial for baby's health, but for me it was mostly about being able to bond with my baby in such an amazing way*.

On the night Tate was born, my biggest desire was that I would be able to cuddle and put him to the breast as soon as possible. I was very lucky that he responded beautifully the second I pulled him to me; he latched on like a champ! It was such an incredible feeling to know we were off to a great start. The next day, my body responded quickly and began making the golden milk my boy needed. Given that our birth experience turned out to be quite different than I had hoped for, this felt like such a wonderful gift and triumph.

It was the third night in the hospital that I discovered the nurses in the nursery had given Tate a pacifier, even though I'd been pretty clear that it was against our wishes. I quickly wrote in bold letters on his bassinet tag: NO PACIFIERS, PLEASE! It was also that night that they brought him back 5 minutes after we sent him (the night before, he'd stayed in there for almost 5 hours while I got some much-needed rest) saying he seemed hungry and was fussing for the first time since he was born. It became quickly clear he wasn't hungry at all...he just wanted to be comforted & pacified, and it was my boob that was the magic ticket.

Ten and a half months later, not much has changed. My boy is a TOTAL Boob-Man. Some might find this tiresome at times, but I love being just what he needs. I love that my body knows what it needs to do to make sure my son has enough nutritious milk to eat. It honestly makes me feel like Superwoman, which is completely unfair since I find it so comforting and don't have much to do with it at all!

When I nurse Tate, he instantly melts into me and stares up at me with such love in his amazing blue eyes (unless he's tired; then they roll back into his head on the way to dreamland). He will gently play with my necklace or his feet, or snaps my bra-strap while chugging away (something he did - kid you not - starting the second day of his life; we will likely get lots of calls from the principal's office someday!). He's so busy and full of energy all day long, but when it's time to eat, it's suddenly our quiet time to bond and slow it down for a while. I stroke his hair and whisper how much we love him and what a good boy he is. Many times I'll make a sound or smile down at him, causing him to let out muffled giggles that touch my soul in a way I can't describe. This time spent together is my most favorite thing about being a mom besides actually BEING Tate's mom, and I'm grateful to my body for giving me the ability to experience such joy.

*Let me be clear: for those who can't breastfeed or didn't feel comfortable doing so, I'm not here to judge. My heart goes out to those who tried hard and weren't successful, and while I can't understand why someone would choose not to nurse, I'm also in the live-and-let-live camp when it comes to parenting. You do what you need to do - be it nursing, co-sleeping, etc. - and please let me do the same. :o) 

It Was a Very Good Year

Few words do justice to how I feel about the year 2010. Truthfully, it's been the most prosperous and happy 365 days of my life. It was the year that 'we became three,' the year I felt life grow within me and the year my heart found its way outside the world in the form of the most precious, amazing little boy I've ever known.

Tonight - for the first time ever - I'm perfectly happy staying inside our safe, warm home with my two favorite boys, reveling in how much I have to appreciate about my life. And while I've always felt a bit wistful to leave another year behind (Did I do enough? Grow enough?), this year I am only focused on how much good is ahead and how amazing this past year has been. 

I couldn't ask for more, so I won't. Instead, I'm wishing for good, happy, wonderful days ahead for all of you, for all of your innermost wishes to come true.  Thank you - yes, you - for your support and love this past year and always. You are part of what makes life richer and meaningful to me and my blessed family.

Hugs and love from the Burtons - here's to a bright and beautiful 2011! xoxo Amy


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
To: Twenty Ten
From: Mark

Human nature is to group memories, and society groups them by year.  We are defined by years: the year we were born, the year we graduated high school, or the year we first did this or first did that.  And on all accounts for me (and I'm guessing my dearest Amy), you will forever be remembered as a most remarkable year.

From first learning we were pregnant in January, through the indescribable birth experience in September, the progressive growth, development, and birth of Tate Doty Burton will occupy the most significant memory. Everything else pales in comparison, which is not meant to diminish any others, just simply to highlight Tate.

We have continued growing as individuals, growing as a couple and now finally as a family.  And we are excitedly looking forward to continue down our path of love.

Professionally, as your final seconds expire, so will Amy's selfless career over the past eight years. Day after day she was engaged on the front lines of public service, as one of many behind the scenes who props up a public official.  Congratulations to her.

As for my career, you've brought me a series of high risk moves (calculated as they might have been), and in a bit of serendipity, I am ending Twenty Ten in the place I began (sort of).

For all the new memories being created every day, we continue to cherish the old ones as well.  Auld lang syne, right?

Thank you Twenty Ten - you were a year of great challenge and great opportunity, and you were extremely good to us.

Merry and Bright

Today is our first Christmas with Tate; both Mark & I agree that for maybe the first time ever, we sincerely want for nothing. Asking for anything just seems silly, when we have SO MUCH. And while we can think of little things we could use, they only pale in comparison to the amazing, simple joy Tate brings to us every day.

I mean, just look at this little guy!

I think he's a little confused, because we told him to never talk to strangers but then we just plopped him right into the lap of this dude...what gives?!

We are staying home for Christmas for the first time in our relationship, in order to start our own holiday traditions that will carry on through the years, lending comforting memories for Tate to share and talk about some day.  I can think of few things more important than just staying and being...right where we are, with all we have.

I pray your holidays are blessed and happy - if I could share the feeling of complete contentment I have in my heart today, I most certainly would.  Hugs and love to you all!

3 Months

My boy is three months old today.  It was 13 weeks ago tonight that he was placed in my arms, changing my perspective on everything and giving me joy like none I'd ever experienced before.

How did I move through my days before they started with a cuddle and a gluttonous sniff of his tiny little head? Before I could say "Hello, my sweetie!" and witness his face-brightening smile over recognizing my voice?

He is a smiley, wriggly, sweet darling and I love him so much it hurts. At least once a day, tears spring to my eyes as I stare at Tate, pride bursting from within.
 

This post by Jennie at 'She Likes Purple' made me cry today, because JUST LOOK AT HOW MUCH I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO.  I loved this part, especially: "I refuse to look at my guy and weep over what he was for one moment because that steals something from what he is and what he is is so hair-pullingly frustratingly beautiful. What he is deserves my undivided attention." 

This speaks to me, because every single moment with my guy is precious and gives me reason for pause. I think to myself often, "Enjoy this...stop and just enjoy him." And, you guys? He makes it so, so easy to do.

And now I must go sing "Happy Birthday" to my son -- it's 10:45pm and around here, it's a weekly occasion we celebrate wholeheartedly.  

Best Daddy on Earth

It goes without saying, but I'm gonna say it anyway: Mark is the MOST AMAZING DAD!  Tate is so loved by his daddy, and it's been such a gift to witness over the past 5+ weeks.  I think so often, the dad gets forgotten in the process of caring for a newborn.  So, today, I wanted to share a few pictures that do better justice to Mark's admiration and love for his boy than my words ever could:

Mark...thank you so much for being the father our beautiful boy deserves.  You amaze me every day with the fierce love and unwavering support you bring to our family.  Not only did you prove my predictions right, you've also made me aware of how much I truly underestimated how amazing you would be at this gig.  We love you...so much!

Cousins = Instant Buddies

The other day I got an email from my sister, Alicia, sharing the most adorable pictures and story about my 7-year-old nephew, Caleb (one of her four awesome boys).  Apparently he is quite a huge fan of his new cousin, Tate!  See for yourself: 

Hi Amy! 

I had to share with you how much Caleb loves Tate!  Ever since Tate was born, Caleb has been drawing pictures of Tate and Gavin dressed as football players.  He says that since they were both born on the same day*, they are both "ultimate babies", which means they are able to do a lot more than the average baby.  So, they are both football players at a young age!

The first attachment shows a picture that Caleb drew yesterday at church.  Keep in mind that Caleb might be the biggest Michigan fan in our house!  But, he conceded to the loss to State very well, on Tate's behalf.  The picture shows Gavin and Tate as football players and Tate is holding the "Paul Bunyan" trophey!  How cute is that?!  I was cracking up!

The 2nd attachment is of a song he wrote at school.  They were asked to write a song of praise to God about something they were thankful for.  You can see it was written the day after Tate was born.

Here are the words, just in case you can't make them out:

"When my cousin was born, praise the Lord!  Hear this Oh mom, as I sing to the God of Israel!  My cousin was born.  I was happy.  Lord please take care of my cousin."

Pretty adorable, huh?!
+++++

How cute is that?! To add to this story, on Tuesday Alicia and Gavin made the trip to visit us for the day.  She said that when she told Caleb where she was going, he refused to leave for school until she let him go with her!  Finally, he said he would go to school as long as she gave him a date for when he could go see Tate himself...they will be here again on Oct. 24th. That is one determined and devoted little boy. :o) And Tate is so lucky to have such great cousins in his life!

Tate and Caleb

Tate and his four cousins: Jacob, Nolan, Caleb & Gavin

*I was going to share this awesome fact with you when I finally posted my birth story (coming!), but this couldn't wait.  Tate and Gavin were born on the same day, just four years apart...how insanely cool is that?! 

Four Weeks, One Million Smiles

My beautiful boy turns four weeks old tonight. How has it already been four weeks?! And, more importantly, how has it ONLY been that long since I first saw his face, when it feels like I've known and loved him forever?...

My Three Boys

When my dad, Yom and little sister, Rachel, visited us the weekend we got home from the hospital with Tate, I was so excited to be able to capture some pictures of myself and the three most important males in my life - three generations and three hearts that I carry within me always.  I'm so blessed...

I Picked You Up and Everything Changed...

Today is my due date - the day I waited patiently and excitedly to come for almost ten months. I say almost because it turns out I didn't have to wait that long.  A week ago, on September 15, 2010 at 2:30am, my water broke in my sleep and what followed was the most amazing, emotionally and physically-enduring day of my life.  And at 10:45pm, my life changed forever when my beautiful boy took his first breath and took my breath away.  I'm so exceedingly proud to introduce you to him now!

~Tate Doty Burton~

Born Wednesday, Sept. 15, 2010 at 10:45pm

7lbs 2.4oz, 18.5 inches

and PERFECT

Tate is a very happy, content baby and Mark and I are having such an incredible time getting to know this little person we made with love.  We're not sure what we did to deserve him, but we sure are glad we did.  It's hard to imagine life without him; thank God we don't have to now.

This proud mama will be back with the birth story, the last belly pics, and photos of the nursery.  In the meantime, though, I'll be off enjoying every minute with my little man.  He makes me happier than I've ever been in my very happy life, and I don't want to miss a thing.  

Today, I Want for Nothing

Back in my mid-twenties, I would have given anything to wake up in the morning and think, "I have no desires today; today I am happy with exactly who I am and what I have in this precious life." Which, coincidentally, is exactly what I woke up thinking today, on my 34th birthday. 

The thing is, all of the days I woke up wishing I had more or something different are the very reason why I can appreciate the amazing life I am living.  I should really thank all those tear-filled days and those times filled with unanswered prayers, huh?  Thank you, icky days and unknown times...because you happened, I am truly, finally able to see the beauty in the world around me.

I am married to my soul mate (the most amazing person) and just 9 weeks away from giving birth to a little person we created together...  I have an incredibly loving and supportive family that has always given me reason to believe the world was my oyster and I could do anything I put my mind to...  I have many wonderful friends who make me laugh and love me just the way I am...  I have two of the sweetest dogs on Earth that make frantic little 'CLICK CLICK' noises as they excitedly dance on the wood floors when I get home from work, who shower me with smiles & messy kisses....  And, uh, I have wood floors, which means I actually have a HOME, a safe, warm (and cool - YAY!) home...  I have a job to go to each day, one that is ending on the last day of this year, which will give me some of the much-needed time I crave to spend with our Chickpea, to take time to become the mom I have always dreamed of being... And, sure, I have a ton of material things that are pretty and useful, and I have the money - for now, anyway (if Chickpea is a girl, Lord help us!) - to spend on the things we need and want.

So, yeah.  I don't need a single thing.  A dear friend sent me a text message today that said, "Think of any kicks from Chickpea today as his/her way of saying, "Happy birthday mama, I love you!"  And it made me smile from here to there.  I'm loved, and kicked from the inside, and all is right in the world.

"Dear Chickpea" - A Letter From Mama

Dear Chickpea,

It's late and way past your mama's bedtime, but I couldn't help but take a couple minutes to tell you something:

YOU ARE SO, SO LOVED. 

Today your Grandma Carole & Auntie Alicia threw us a beautiful baby shower and I was overwhelmed by the amount of excitement in the room that was filled with ladies who already love you so much.  There are so many people in this world who are hoping the best for you, that can't wait to smell your pretty little head and cover you with kisses.

I kept looking around today thinking about how lucky we both are to have so many people who care about us.  Some day you'll learn that many people in this world aren't quite as fortunate, and because of this love and guidance you will gain from the wonderful people in our lives, I feel confident you will quickly learn how to freely share your own love with those who might not be quite so blessed.  You have such amazing examples all around you and you aren't even out of my belly yet!  This realization knocks the wind out of me sometimes...you have every opportunity available to you and it's because of the unwavering support of the family and friends your daddy and I are lucky enough to know and love.

I can only think of one drawback to all of this, precious Chickpea: you better get used to lots of hugs and kisses. I have a feeling there are a L-O-T coming to you soon enough!

I love you to the moon and back,

xoxo Mama

Daddy-To-Be

Today is Father's Day, and while technically I'm still carrying our first child (one we've created together - these girls certainly do count, as well!), I already very much view Mark as a father - and an amazing one at that.  As busy as he is and as little we get to see him these days, he somehow is still magically able to meet the demands and needs that his pregnant wife and excitable puppies have.

I find myself spending a lot of time during these last months of pregnancy envisioning what it will be like to be a parent, a mama to Chickpea.  Sometimes I worry that I won't know exactly what to do, that my heart will break in two the first (and 100th) time I'm not able to comfort our little one as it cries.  I have lots of little worries about the "what-if's," but not one of them entails wondering or worrying about what kind of father Mark will be.

When I met Mark, I instantly knew I had met my equal and had no doubt he would make a wonderful father.  His tender heart, love and ability to care for those more than he ever takes care of himself are just a few reasons why I look forward to being a co-parent beside this man. I find myself daydreaming about the look on his face when he sees this baby for the first time, thinking about the time he will spend teaching and encouraging our baby from day one, and how much fun they will have together.  To say Chickpea is lucky to have the father s/he will have is a crazy understatement.  This kiddo won the Daddy Lottery, to say the least.

Mark, thank you for being such an amazing, unfaltering husband, and for giving me so much to look forward to as we venture further down this path we find ourselves navigating together. You make it all so much happier, sweeter, and more worthwhile. I hope I'm half the parent I know you'll be...and just having you by my side means I don't have to worry about much -- I know you'll always see to it that we are loved and taken care of in your quiet and gentle way. What a gift you are. We love you!

And to my own dad...

Thank you for your own quiet and gentle love over these past (almost) 34 years.  I've never doubted your love for me and that is a true gift for a child!  I love you very much! xoxo

More Cuteness

In case you were mistaken about who has the best blog readers, I'm here to set the record straight.  That would be me.  Sorry, but I call it like I see it!

On Tuesday I arrived home to a package from Bean (who just found out she is also pregnant after trying for a long time!!).  Inside, there was the sweetest painting she made just for Chickpea:

And a precious receiving blanket to match! I sent Bean a text later to thank her and said, "I can't believe I'm going to have a baby small enough to wrap in this soon!!"

And then yesterday, I was greeted with another package in the mail from Val.  She shares my love of books (and works in...a BOOK STORE!) and couldn't resist sending this one my way:

How cute is that?  It is sooo soft and has a little movable baby bird that nestles into different nooks throughout the book:

Thank you ladies - I could get used to this 'present at the door every day' thing! ;o)  You are just too kind.  Mark, Chickpea and I appreciate your thoughtfulness so much.  Most of all, I appreciate your unwavering support and how great you are at picking me up when I need a verbal hug - you're the best! ((hugs))

Four Months!

Mark and I just got back from our 4-month (40% through the pregnancy!) doctor visit, and everything is great!  We got to hear the heartbeat using one of those doppler heartbeat monitors; it was so nice to get that additional reassurance that things are going well.  I actually broke down yesterday and ordered a doppler for us to use at home (I just couldn't resist; it was CHEAP) and can't wait for it to get here!  It has a cool feature where we can record the heartbeat to our computer, so stay tuned and we will upload it for you to hear soon.

In the meantime, I've been feeling really good.  Bloated (ha!) and a bit tired, with the now-routine morning stomach icks, but I honestly can't complain.  Unlike all those hangovers I once had in my partying days (JUST KIDDING, mom!), at the end of this journey, WE GET A BABY!!  So, you know, totally worth it.

Since I just sent the link to this blog out to our family and friends today, I hope to have lots of people joining us here soon.  If you've found us, WELCOME and thank you for stopping in to read about these foibles throughout our pregnancy.  Assume I'll be pretty schmoopy on here, as well as silly and sarcastic, but most of all, I hope you know how lucky Mark and I feel to have you all in our lives.  This wouldn't be nearly as exciting of a time for us if it weren't for your support and excitement.  Hugs!!

More Than I Could Ask For

When I was in Indiana this past weekend, Carla/Yom and I were chatting when she told me that, while she's always viewed me as an upbeat person, I seem to have this happy glow about me right now.  It was nice to hear, because I feel that way - I just didn't know other people noticed.  "They" talk about how pregnant woman are glowy, how they have this special look about them.  I'm never sure if it's just something people say to be nice or if there is truth to it.  I can certainly attest to a feeling that is akin to a 'glow' within myself these days, though, and it's amazing.

It's hard to put into words, but what I told Carla was this: while I think I've always been (or tried to be) a "glass half full" type of person, when I met Mark, suddenly my glass felt completely full.  Now that we are expecting our first child, my glass feels like it is honestly overflowing.  It's, by far, the happiest time of my life.  Sure, there has been a scare and some unknowing times these past four months, but those make the other times that much sweeter in retrospect.

As I mentioned in my first post, this is a ride I'm on (along with Mark, of course!), but I also don't have access to the steering wheel this time.  My life is on autopilot and for the first time, I feel pretty O.K. with that.  In the past, I would let my anxiety rule, preventing me from either getting things done to stave off the anxiety or keeping me from enjoying the journey I was on.  This time, that's not an option - it's not just about me anymore.  And that realization gives me a new kind of power...one that seems to be lighting me from inside out.

Scary Scare

This past Saturday, I started bleeding. Not spotting: bleeding. Mark and I were at home settling in to watch a movie - popcorn already popped - and I ran to the bathroom before the lights went low. I went to wipe and was greeted with pure blood, with more red drips in the toilet. There weren't any lumps or mucus, it was just blood. I had no idea what to think about it, but I was freaked. I called out to Mark to tell him, and he suggested I call our midwife. I talked to her and she said it was best to go to the emergency room just in case, because "bleeding of any kind during pregnancy isn't normal."  It was 9:20pm and we were headed for a long night.

We arrived at the E.R. and were the only ones there besides one other couple.  They got us in pretty quickly and we were greeted with the NICEST nurse and doctor- a blessing in and of itself! Honestly, they really made things a lot easier and more calming for us. It was determined that I would have an internal ultrasound, which would require a catheter. While waiting to be taken to have these procedures, I couldn't stop my mind from racing. I thought about how easy it had been for us to conceive, and how it would only seem fair that we would have to pay for that now. I spent some time playing a silly game on my phone to keep my mind off things because my anxiety was as high in those moments as it has ever been. Mark was such a sweetheart, rubbing my back and thinking positively. He never lost his cool (although he never does). Having him there to reassure me was exactly what I needed. At one point I looked down at my shirt and found a Molly hair (our dog who is like a fur-covered anxiety pill - she's The Awesome) and instantly felt this weird sense of comfort in it. It's funny the things you hold onto when you feel so scared and out of control.

The catheter? Well, let's just say it hurt like a mother. Getting a tube shoved up a tiny hole isn't something I would recommend to anyone. I instantly had this feeling like I was peeing my pants, and at one point, I said to Mark, "I think I just peed the bed! I hope I don't crap my pants...OH WAIT, I'M NOT WEARING ANY!" Hey, humor has always been my favorite crutch...

We were wheeled into the ultrasound room, which was dark and cool. The tech was steel-faced and didn't say anything as she began the internal ultrasound, filling up my bladder with fluid so she could have a "window" to look at my ovaries/tubes to make sure there wasn't blockage that could have caused the bleeding. She then took out the catheter (OUCH followed by sweet relief) and began to look at the baby. We couldn't see the screen, and it felt like an ETERNITY before she said, "Now...I can't tell you anything, but why don't you just take a look at the screen." She turned the screen toward us and we saw our little Chickpea wriggling about, heart beating fast. Mark and I squeezed each others hands tightly and just stared in awe, tears filling our eyes. The tech turned on the speaker and suddenly we heard the little stampede of a heartbeat rushing straight to my heart. 180 beats per minute, strong as it should be. Out loud, I said, "OHHH! What a RELIEF!!" When she left, Mark said to me, "That was the coolest thing I've even seen," and I had to agree. Our baby was O.K. Thank God!

The next day, I was still quite sore and felt like I had a bladder infection. On one of the many visits to the bathroom, I was greeted with more bleeding. My heart sank and I began to cry. Mark was out of town for work, so I called him. He was once again very reassuring, saying that we'd had bleeding once and the baby was fine, and it would be fine again. It was hard for me to believe in the moment, though. I called my sister, who is a nurse, and she talked me through it even more.

Today, we went for a follow-up and met with the O.B., who said that some unlucky woman bleed throughout their pregnancies, and that there is a new increase in blood flow and new arteries that could have caused a small burst in my case.  She was also honest and said that if I'm going to miscarry, there isn't much I can do to prevent it, so I should just go about life as normal.  I felt relieved hearing that from a professional.  It was the perspective I needed at that moment. 

For now, we've decided not to tell anyone else our good news - it's just too risky. I'm afraid, very anxious, and worried that we might not get to meet our Chickpea. But I'm also grateful for the glimpse we were able to have of him or her, to have seen with our own eyes that things are going just as they should. And for now, I can only pray...