My 'Mark' in the World

Today is the day, 32 years ago, that fate was born and began to make its slow but eventual way to me.  Does that sound weird or selfish, to call the birth of my husband a day of fate for me?  Ah well...I can see it no other way, really.  The truth is, it wasn't until I met Mark that I completely came into my own as the person I am today.  In essence, his birth turned into my own renewal, one I am blessed to relive every day I am lucky enough to wake up by his safe, kind, loving side.

It's nearly impossible to explain how I truly feel about Mark (although I've tried) and I find it absolutely impossible to celebrate this day the way he deserves it to be celebrated.  Every year I feel at a loss as to how to show him my appreciation for all he does and is to me.  I'll ask him, "What do you want for your birthday?" and he always says, "Nothing!"  He means it, too.  Of course I never oblige - that would be wrong.  This year, however, I asked him again: "What do you want for your birthday, babe?" and he - not skipping a beat - said, "A BABY!"  I laughed and asked him if it was o.k. if I opened the gift for him this time.  He didn't think that was going to be a problem.

And so, for the first time in all the years we've known each other, I finally feel like I'm prepared to give Mark something (someone!) that encompasses all that our love is and means to me.  In a matter of days, a little person created solely by our admiration and dedication to one another will arrive into the world, giving us one more reason to redefine our love for each other with every day that passes.  I imagine our love will only grow, get stronger, and have more meaning than it ever did before.  My heart stands ready to stretch and beat to the rhythmic drum of this new awakening - a new fate, if you will.  I see this as the best day of the year; it brought to me the person who has made my life infinitely greater in ways I never expected but also vow to never take for granted.

Happy birthday, baby.  I love you...so much*.

*We both have '...so much' engraved into our wedding rings; thinking of the reason why always makes me smile.  

Daddy-To-Be

Today is Father's Day, and while technically I'm still carrying our first child (one we've created together - these girls certainly do count, as well!), I already very much view Mark as a father - and an amazing one at that.  As busy as he is and as little we get to see him these days, he somehow is still magically able to meet the demands and needs that his pregnant wife and excitable puppies have.

I find myself spending a lot of time during these last months of pregnancy envisioning what it will be like to be a parent, a mama to Chickpea.  Sometimes I worry that I won't know exactly what to do, that my heart will break in two the first (and 100th) time I'm not able to comfort our little one as it cries.  I have lots of little worries about the "what-if's," but not one of them entails wondering or worrying about what kind of father Mark will be.

When I met Mark, I instantly knew I had met my equal and had no doubt he would make a wonderful father.  His tender heart, love and ability to care for those more than he ever takes care of himself are just a few reasons why I look forward to being a co-parent beside this man. I find myself daydreaming about the look on his face when he sees this baby for the first time, thinking about the time he will spend teaching and encouraging our baby from day one, and how much fun they will have together.  To say Chickpea is lucky to have the father s/he will have is a crazy understatement.  This kiddo won the Daddy Lottery, to say the least.

Mark, thank you for being such an amazing, unfaltering husband, and for giving me so much to look forward to as we venture further down this path we find ourselves navigating together. You make it all so much happier, sweeter, and more worthwhile. I hope I'm half the parent I know you'll be...and just having you by my side means I don't have to worry about much -- I know you'll always see to it that we are loved and taken care of in your quiet and gentle way. What a gift you are. We love you!

And to my own dad...

Thank you for your own quiet and gentle love over these past (almost) 34 years.  I've never doubted your love for me and that is a true gift for a child!  I love you very much! xoxo

Anniversary Weekend Rundown

As I mentioned, Mark has very little free time these days.  Being the dedicated man he is, though, he skipped a couple weekend meetings and spent a lot of time on the phone on the way to Petoskey, and was able to get away to celebrate our second wedding anniversary (despite making a whole lot of work to come back to for him).  He's the best!

We arrived to the Terrace Inn on Friday around 5pm and were greeted by the nice staff and the chef's CUTE dog, of which was hanging out in the back with no leash to keep her there.  I'd been thinking about how much I missed the girls, only to be able to instantly pet another pup!

We climbed the grandiose staircase to our queen whirlpool suite, unpacked, then went for a walk to check out the neighborhood:

We walked down to the beach (where, on Sunday, we hunted for - and found! - Petoskey Stones) and enjoyed the beautiful sky:

Later, we had dinner at the Inn's wonderful restaurant (oooooomg, it was so good), then rushed down to the shore to capture a few pictures of the amazing sunset before it nestled into the other side of the Earth for the night:

We even got a picture of the two of us, which is always hard to do when you're traveling alone:

The next day, we got up early, ate breakfast and went into town to shop for a bit before heading back to the Inn for our in-room massages (aaaaahhhh).  We walked past the most whimsical tree (which reminded me of the candlestick guy in 'Beauty and the Beast' and had me singing "Be Our Guest" for two days):

Then we bought a couple of presents for Chickpea - our first real purchases for the little one, besides some books I've been collecting over the years:

'Harper the Hippo'...could this be any cuter?!

This little pull toy was too much - I couldn't resist!

We went back to get our massages, then took a GLORIOUS nap before getting ready to go into town for a nice dinner.  Do you see a trend here?  Shop, eat, sleep.  Isn't that what trips away are all about, though?  LOVE.

The next day, we got up early, had breakfast, then headed to Traverse City and went to a couple of wineries so Mark could do some wine-tasting (we went here and here - the latter was the clear favorite, according to Mark):

It was my idea to go tasting, and while I was so happy Mark got to try some yummy wines, I'm not going to lie: it was a wee bit awkward being pregnant in that setting!  It was also quite hard to not take a sip or two (OK...so I did take a sip of one that we later bought a couple bottles of so I could enjoy it after Chickpea is here!).

We then drove into downtown T.C. and did some shopping after having a pizza lunch under the sun.  My favorite shop was the hat store!  I even got Mark to try a couple on...

And I totally ROCKED this Alice in Wonderland one, if I do say so myself:

Mark even put one on (but was a bit O-V-E-R the whole thing by this point; can you tell?):

Overall, it was a great weekend with my sweetie.  We talked and laughed so much.  On the way back, I was excited to get home to see Molly and Lucy, but also quite wistful that it meant I wouldn't have 24 hours a day to spend with Mark anymore.  He's just so fun to be with, and makes me grin in a way very few people or things can.  I can't wait to get away with him again, although I'm almost positive it won't be until after the baby is here.  What a year we have ahead of us!   

Table for Two at the Gratitude Café

Today Mark and I celebrate our two-year wedding anniversary.  Two years ago today, I couldn't stop smiling.  I didn't have a nervous quiver in my stomach to speak of, and people giggled at me every time I would hop up and down with excitement about what I was about to do.  It was my favorite day, because I was there to marry my amazing, perfect-for-me best friend.

I've gushed about Mark before and talked about how happy I am with the life I've been given.  And yet, I don't think there are enough words in the world to truly convey how blessed and content I feel to have Mark in my life, to be able to call him my husband.  Thankfully, I have the rest of my lifetime to figure out how to express it to him in a way that measures up to the happiness he brings to my heart.

Last year, I made a video for Mark to commemorate our first anniversary.  I thought I'd share it with those of you who might not have been with us on that wonderful day or who haven't seen it yet (and yes, I totally just cried while watching it again...):

   

Amy & Mark's 1st Wedding Anniversary Montage from Amy B on Vimeo.

There was a time when I wondered if I would ever find someone to love me the way I was able to love - I worried that I might be too old to have children once I did find him.  I used to listen to a song that spoke to me, hoping that someday it would come true for me.  IT DID.  Two years ago today, Mark and I danced as husband and wife to that very song...and the meaning took on a new understanding.  I truly am The Luckiest.

Two years later, I'm so honored to be carrying within me a unique, amazing product of our love.  Five months from now,  everyone will be able to see for themselves just how powerful that love really is.  Thank you, Mark, for helping to complete the scattered, unfinished puzzle that was my life.  You were the piece I'd been looking for - dreaming about all along.  What a beautiful picture we have made together; I can't wait to add color and depth to it with each year I'm blessed enough to have you standing by my side.

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.  ~ Abraham Lincoln