Dear Tate - One Year Later

My blue-eyed boy,

A year ago today, I took - and "passed" - one of the most important tests of my life. It was on this day that your daddy and I learned you were growing inside mama's belly and would soon be gracing and changing our lives forever. On that fateful day, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and whispered to myself, "Oh, my..." over the amazing news I had just learned. Now, 365 days later, I cannot even begin to count how many times since that I've done just the same as I stared at you in wonder, so grateful to have you here with us now.

(iPhone tracking app entry from that day)

I remarked in my first post about the ride we were about to embark upon. I wasn't sure what was ahead of us or what to expect during my pregnancy. What I can tell you with certainty is that the ride was even more amazing than I could have ever hoped or asked for. Turns out, it was the kind that had me smiling so big my face hurt, forging new smile lines that I am proud to see now when I look in the mirror at the so-in-love mama you've made me.

It's been four months and three days since you were born, and in that short time I've become a more calm, centered person because of you. I often used to wonder if I would be an anxious mom, but the truth is you bring me so much comfort that I find myself now being able to set aside my worries and fears to just BE for the first time in my life. As long as I have your addictive head and sour cream breath to sniff, all is right in the world.

You are learning and doing so much these days; I find myself so excited to see what you'll do next. You are belly-laughing and reaching for toys to stuff into your mouth. You watch TV with a studied focus (oops?) and press the buttons to make your bouncy seat piano play music for you over and over again. You are drooling with gusto - doc thinks you might be teething already! - and try so hard to perfect your army crawl during tummy time. And just today you finally really noticed your fur-sisters (who love you very much and find you literally delicious with their licking) for the first time -- you heard Lucy bark at the mailman and then couldn't keep your eyes off her and Molly for minutes after. It felt like such a big moment, the start to a beautiful relationship between a boy and his dogs.

I was feeding you this afternoon as you drifted off to sleep when I got a tickle in my throat and coughed. The noise and movement caused you to jerk awake, and in that moment before your silent-cry turned into a hurt wail of confusion, I felt my heart break in two. I immediately pulled you into a hug and rocked you back and forth, whispering "there, there's" as I reeled over how completely terrible it felt to unintentionally scare you in that way. You see, my little one, it is mama's job to make sure you feel safe and loved, and in that moment I vowed - once again - to always do my best to make sure that's the case.

My 8-year career recently ended and I now have the privilege of spending all my days with you. While I only get paid in coos and drool, I can think of no job that is more important than the one I am doing. When I look back on my life years from now, I know I'll never think to myself, "Gosh, I wish I'd gotten a new job instead of taking some time to devote to my boy..." and it was this thinking that made me confident that staying at home with you was the right decision for me, for now. Besides, I really, truly think you are going to change the world some day, Tate. For what it's worth, you've already changed mine in more ways than I can count. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Forever grateful,

Your Mama

Bump Watch: 25 & 26 Weeks

Hola!  You might have noticed posting has been a little sparse around here.  Turns out getting ready for a baby takes work (more on that later)!  That, combined with the hormone-induced desire to chill and sleep - which, uh, isn't coming easily these days - doesn't leave a whole lot of time to come on here and bore you pretties to tears. ;o)

Today is actually the 1st day of my third - and LAST - trimester!  Oh my goshies, I don't think you know how happy that makes me.  I realize this is going to feel like the longest trimester by far, but I also think it's going to be the most exciting and busy.  Today also marks the three year anniversary of Mark and I getting engaged! Three years ago, I was woken up early in the morning from a deep sleep to see my sweetie on his knee with a shiny ring and red rose in hand; today I'm on the verge of waddling and have just three months until I'll be woken quite often from a deep sleep for a very different, yet equally awesome, reason.  Don't you just love how timing works?

Onto belleh pics!  Are you getting tired of these yet?  TOO BAD FOR YOU!  Hahaaaa...

WEEK 25:

I'm growing out of this shirt.  It's one of my favorites, too.  DANG!

This is what happens when we let the dogs in the room while taking photos.  They are craaaazy!

And this is what happens when I'm ready to be done with the photo op (don't you like the hands on my hips?).

WEEK 26:

 Hey-oh! DOGS IN THE ROOM AGAIN.

(See? Lucy just couldn't resist sticking her nose in it...)

How you doin'?  Welcome to my nekkid belly.  I made a comment last week to Mark about how I look bigger than a couple pregnant women I know who are further along than me and he said, "Babe, that's because you are ALL PARTY OUT FRONT!"  It made me giggle, because it's so true.

Don't be tardy to the party, ya'll.

I LOVE me some Lucy!

Two years ago today, Lucy came into our lives.  Mark and I were newly married and had been mulling over the idea to get Molly a companion, since she showed signs of loneliness.  As mentioned here, Mark caught me sniffling over one of those ASPCA commercials and totally caved.

A week and a few days later, Molly had a pet and we had a little...situation on our hands.

To be fair to Lucy, our perception was skewed; Molly was pretty much the perfect dog from the day we got her.  She made it reaaaallllly easy to look like good puppy owners. We taught her a couple tricks, but other than that, she was an angel from the get-go.  So when we got Lucy - a year old at that point and set in her ways - it was a bit of a rude awakening: WE WERE ACTUALLY GONNA HAVE TO "PARENT" THIS ONE.

I recall coming home on the fourth day of having Lucy, stepping in yet another dominantly-laid puddle of her urine, getting scratched to shreds by her once again, and immediately bursting into tears.  I wailed something along the lines of, "I...I don't liiiiike her....I'm not sure I can do this!!"  It was pretty pathetic.  Mark and I talked it over and decided we would give it until the end of the week - two days more, to be exact.

Not even kidding you, the next day, Lucy showed a tiny bit of improvement.  And so she stayed.

It wasn't easy breaking her of the bad habits.  Sadly, it was clear that whoever had owned her before she was rescued hadn't spent any time with her.  She didn't even know how to sit, she jumped up non-stop (causing actual bloodshed - most likely due to anxiety and a fear of not getting enough attention), she never smiled and was very possessive and dominant over Molly - the older, bigger, more-seasoned dog in the house.  I didn't know where to start, really.  I began to show her that she would only get attention if she acted a certain, behaved way.  Being the lover she is, that eventually began to pay off and she made great strides.

Two years later, I wouldn't hesitate to say that it's this gal who is the better-behaved dog of the two.  She is my sweet little love, the one who is always there to give a little nudge and let you know she's there.  She is smiley, gentle and kind, doesn't jump or scratch, and she listens so, so well. I'm very proud of how far she's come and am so glad we gave her the chance to prove that we had what it took as a team to get past the growing pains.

I guess you could say it was Lucy that gave me the confidence to know I could be a good, dedicated mommy.  She is worth every scratch endured and every tear shed, without a doubt.  Spend just two minutes with this little lamb and you will know just what I mean.  It's impossible not to fall in love with her.

P.S. Tonight, Mark and I took Lucy & Molly to 'Cones and Bones' to get ice cream, followed by a trip to PetSmart so that Lucy could pick out a new birthday toy.  Here is a picture of her waiting to get her ice cream.  Is that a happy face or is that a happy face?

I wish you all could have seen how content she was on the way home - she kept putting her head on my shoulder from the back seat and nuzzling me, smiling the whole time.  It was too cute for words and made me so happy.  She has played non-stop with her new toy - an...ant-eater, I think, that makes a HOOONNNNNNNK sound every time she squeezes it.  Which is a lot.  Hey, guess I better get used to the noisy toys now, huh? ;o)

Bump Watch: 23 & 24 Weeks

Guess what, chicken butt?  I'm six months along now!  For some reason, being able to say '6 months' seem like we're so much closer to having a baby than even 5 and a half months did. When people would ask, "How far along are you?" and I responded with "5 months!" they would say, "Ahh, you have a long way to go..." Which, really? Isn't a very nice thing to say to a pregnant lady, letmetellya.  However, since I've been able to say SIX months, no one has said that to me.  Maybe I've just run into nicer people this week, but I can't help but think I've entered into more respectable preggers territory here.  ;o)

It's double-feature week, since I didn't get around to posting the 23-week bump pics for you.

WEEK 23:

I'm looking more and more...round, aren't I?

I'm not going to lie: I love what pregnancy has done to my body so far.  I am surprised to say this, but I couldn't be prouder of my belly right now.

  

Just ask Mark.  I lift my shirt up and say "BABY BELLY!!" at least once a day to him.  Wonder if that's getting old? I think it helps that I'm only up ten pounds so far.  Talk to me when I'm up 25...I might be a little more grumbly about it!

WEEK 24:

Yep...white definitely adds pounds. Still, this is one of my favorite maternity shirts.  It's soooo comfy!

Also comfy are my new gray All-Star Converse sneaks.  I once had a pair of turquoise high-top ones (this was when I was sporting a curly mullet, folks), so I've always had a soft spot for these shoes.  Now that I'm pregnant, I'm sort of o-v-e-r wearing high heals.  Flats forever!!

Oh, these girls.  They definitely like being part of whatever it is Mark and I are doing at any given time.  It will be interesting to see how they handle having a new baby around.

Check this out!  It's my new maternity pillow - a Snoogle (omg, best name ever!).  I've been having a tough time sleeping, so I figured it was worth a shot.  The pillow was delivered yesterday; I arrived home from work to see it laying on our bed and jumped!  Mark had apparently come home at lunch and opened it... Sure, it's not exactly scary, but do you see the SIZE OF THIS THING?!  Tell me you wouldn't jump, too, if you weren't expecting to see it!  Despite the fact that it pretty much takes up half the bed, though, I definitely like it so far.

 

Some of you mentioned being confused by my number system for these belly pictures.  Basically, I had a package of sticky letters/numbers sitting around (leftover from an overzealous wedding project idea that I never ended up doing) and figured I'd put them to use.  It was either this or yell at my computer every time I tried to electronically add numbers in Photoshop...no thanks!  ;o) 

Bump Watch: 22 Weeks

You guys, I'm getting HUGE!  And I have...four more months of growing to do.  Something tells me this is going to be a long, hot, uncomfortable summer.  Let's hope that when my uterus reaches its final destination, the baby is able to distribute evenly as opposed to going OUT even more.

Don't ask me what I'm doing here, because I don't know.  It sort of fits, though, doesn't it?  Looks like I'm thinking, "OMG, am I going to fit into ANYTHING by the time this is said and done?!"

Don't worry - no matter how big I get, I'll still act like a jackass.  See?

And I'll still be able to play with the puppers (I hope?!)...

Let's hope I continue to have smooth skin no matter how big I get (I think the awesome lotion and oil Jilly got me is working!)

I must admit this has been a rough week, health-wise.  I started feeling really dizzy and out of breath last Tuesday, and it's getting worse with each day along with excessive tiredness.  I went in for blood tests; hopefully they will just show that I'm anemic or something easily fixed.  In the meantime, I'm trying to rest as much as possible (which is hard to do since I've been getting up 3-4 times a night to go to the bathroom lately!) and feel thankful this is one of the only problems I've encountered so far in this pregnancy.  Up until now, I've had very little to complain about.  Imagine that! ;o)

*I wanted to point out the bird scrabble pendant I'm wearing - isn't it adorable?  Bean and I share a love of all things 'Bird' and she sent it to me out of the blue about 6 months ago.  Thanks again, Bean/Jill!  I love it and always get compliments when I wear it!  xoxo

They Call it Puppeh Love

You see up there in header, where it says, "...and then 'We' became 'Three'?"  It's kind of misleading.  The truth is, while we are expecting our first child, Mark and I have had two furbabies for quite some time! And yes, skin babies are waaaaaay different, but our love for these beauties knows no bounds - we are both total suckers for them.  I thought it was only fair to introduce them to you (in case you don't already know them - and if not, that is shocking since I talk about them ALL THE TIME) so you know that we will actually be turning into a family of FIVE in September.  :o)

This is Molly.  She turned four years old today!  Well, we pretend April 15th is her birthday, since we rescued her when she was roughly 6 months old on October 15, 2006. 

 

She's a 75-pound Black Lab/Australian Shepherd mix who thinks she is a lap dog. She might be the best-behaved dog I've ever had the pleasure to know.  Well...maybe not when there is a squirrel outside, but who can blame her? 

Molly is always doing things that make me laugh.  She likes holding hands and will continue to lift her paw until someone takes it - just to hang out and let you know she's there.  She is the dog I go to when I need to decompress.  I sit on the floor and she instantly trots over to me, turns, backs up, and then sits in my lap and stays there as I hug her until all the tension in my stomach has melted away.  I'd feel pretty lost without her.

This beauty is Lucy.  Lucy, an Australian Cattle Dog/Australian Shepherd mix, was another lucky rescue.  We got her on June 8, 2008 - just a couple weeks after our wedding.  She is the result of what happens when I cry during those ASPCA commercials (this was the Sarah McLaughlin one - SOB!).  Mark caught me crying and said out loud, "Ok, OK!  We can get a dog for Molly..."  I find it hilarious, because while I'd been hinting at wanting another dog to keep Molly company, I certainly didn't expect it to be THAT easy.  I mean, I cry about everything.

Lucy is my little cuddlebug.  She is the most loving, sweet, trusting dog in the world.  As long as you are giving Lulu attention, you can do pretty much anything to her and she won't budge.  And yes, that includes grabbing her front paws while she is laying on her back (a favorite position that she noisily flops into upon seeing you approach her) and dragging her across the wood floors.  Uh...please don't call the Humane Society citing abuse; I swear, she loves it!

Lucy makes the most awesome sounds - ones I've never heard a dog make before.  She moooooo's when she lays down or relaxes.  She also does this Tim Allen-esqe grunt when she's anxious or desperately wants to go out. It's really too cute for words. And when I think about the baby coming, I don't feel stressed about how this gal will do.  I have a feeling she is going to be a big fan of our little one.  I envision her coming to get me when the baby cries, and sitting patiently by the crib to make sure everything is going well.  She is our fierce - yet gentle - protector, and I can't wait to see that love translate to the baby.

Remember how I mentioned squirrels?  WELL.  This is what happens when one of them scampers up a tree in our yard.  Molly lumbers up and lazily pretends she can scale the tree, and Lucy reaches for the sky and sees no limit.  Yep.  That pretty sums up our pups.  I hope you love them as much as we do.  And really, I don't see how you couldn't.