Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Like Wine I Can't Have, I Like to Think I Get Better with Age

As I come up on the halfway mark of this pregnancy, I can’t help but reflect on age and time. I’m not someone who has many regrets (really – we grow so much from those things we probably shouldn’t have done) and honestly wouldn’t change much about how my life has played out thus far. I’ll admit, though, that while I never thought I’d be a young mom, I also never thought I would be thirty-four by the time I gave birth to my first child. Not that I think 34 is old -- it’s just that in my early twenties, there was a time when I thought I was more ready for this big step than I did when I was in my late twenties and early thirties!

I look in the mirror and I see a slowly-deepening line spanning my forehead, a faint 'V' crease between my eyes, smile lines, and silver hairs that seem to multiply by the month. I look down at my hands and see the beginnings of thinning crepe paper skin, and can’t help but notice that I must now watch what I eat in order to not gain weight, despite not having a problem with this just 5 short years ago.

I could feel chagrined that these signs of aging are already being presented to me. Instead, I make myself see the beauty behind these unconventional gifts:
  • The line across my forehead is from all those times I raised my eyebrows in wonderment during a heartfelt conversation with a friend, and for all the times I was greeted by a joyful surprise;
  • The little creases between my eyes are from all those moments I spent deep in thought, studying the world around me – learning every step of the way;
  • The smile lines signify all the times of laughter, all the plentiful reasons I’ve had to smile in my lifetime;
  • The silver hairs – the same color as the hair both my sweet grandmothers had that I used to lovingly touch and call beautiful – are a symbol of the overflowing wisdom I’ve gained from real life and from those who loved me enough to teach me;
  • The less-than-smooth hands indicate a life of hard work, of cleaning and caring and living and washing away the dirt of life that I didn't let beat me down;
  • The extra weight on my hips is from the food I’m blessed enough to have plenty of, consumed during the many celebrations I’ve been a part of that included cake and champagne, hugs and cheers.
When I allow myself to reflect positively on the physical changes that are happening to me, I feel proud. It is all of these visible markings that have ripened my soul enough to give me the life experience I need to be able to someday pass it on to Chickpea, to show him/her the beauty and ways of this world s/he is about to enter into. There isn’t anything I would change – not the lines or the extra pounds; they were earned and will serve me well as I go from being a lady to becoming a mother.

These are the gifts I’ve been given and I will continue to graciously accept them with each year I’m blessed enough to be on this Earth.


  1. All of those physical things as well as your always positive reflections on them are what make you beautiful, outside and in :-). From the first day I read your blog a year ago, I have always been struck by your ability to analyze and see the good in everything. It is a rare and wonderful gift, as are you :-).

  2. Exactly! Embracing the aging process actually makes you age more gracefully (so I have heard). Besides who would trade those laugh lines for anything in the world :)

  3. You are wise beyond your years my dear. Such a beautiful post!

  4. Beautiful. I'd like a "Share" button for that one please.

  5. This is beautiful and so true! I think this is the perfect time for you to become a mother!!! Chickpea is very lucky!


Please leave a comment! It will be fun for Tate to look back on some day... :o)