Snapshot

I sometimes feel a little panicky over how fast life seems to move these days. Will I remember how intoxicating Tate smells after his bath or the way he always begins talking and cooing - rarely crying - the second he wakes up? How he looks at me with love and plays with my key necklace while nursing?

I take what seems like a million pictures and have close to a hundred videos of our little man already. And still, I worry that someday I might forget something of this most perfect, happy, precious time, of how amazing my boy is.

This parenting gig is like a full exercise of the heart...I love every phase and can't wait to experience all of the fun phases ahead, yet I can barely believe he's no longer my tiny, brand new baby.

 I often tell Tate that no one will ever be loved more than him. Maybe the same, but never, ever more.

I'm MELTING over the cute, you guys.

Six Months!

Ok, HOW has it been six months since my gorgeous boy was born? My God...I swear all I did was *blink* and he went from this:

To this:

Ten pounds, 9 inches, two teeth, a million smiles and a gazillion pint-sized giggles later, and our Tate is a half year old and on his way to ruling the world.

I still tear up daily in amazement over how damn lucky I feel to be his mom, to be the one who is, at times, tired and sleepless as he battles teething and growth spurts and the ever-busy life of a baby learning and attempting to figure out all the new things around him.

At times, life feels a little polarizing as a stay-at-home-mom. I joke that some days feel like the movie 'Groundhog Day' with little changing and everything staying the same. Only that couldn't be farther from the truth. I have this ever-important job of bringing up this boy who has all the promise in the world, who brings me more joy than I thought possible or worthy of experiencing.

I don't post here as much as I thought I would or wish I could but that's because I'm too busy being present for that blue-eyed boy you see above. I'm his mama and he needs me. And you know what? I need him, too -- and it didn't take me six months to realize that...six seconds was more than enough for me.

Tate - 4.5 months

Look at this little buddy! While these were being taken, the photographer kept stopping to hold her stomach and laugh over how SMILEY he was being. She was practically busting a gut and it was hilarious! We bust our guts daily over the cute things he does, but that's our job, right? She said it was amazing how his whole face lights up when he smiles... It was cool to see someone who doesn't love Tate by default (like our family/friends) be so instantly smitten with him. It just reaffirmed how special our boy is. He is such a vivid light in this world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Huggable, INDEED!

Valentine Heart

What better way to celebrate Valentine's Day than to share with you an audio of Tate's prenatal heartbeat? This was recorded on July 1, 2010 during a doctor's visit before he was born. I love hearing this strong heartbeat today, knowing it belonged to the now vivacious, healthy, happy little boy who has brought so much love to my life.

Today - and every day - I wish you the kind of love that makes your heart go whoosh-whoosh-whoosh and bomp-bomp-bomp. xoxo


Chickpea/Tate Heartbeat - 7/1/10 from Amy B on Vimeo.

Tate's Birth Book

I have yet to write out my birth story (and really hope to soon!), but in the meantime this book we made for Tate to read someday does a nice job of outlining some of what occurred on that amazing day. I made this so that we could start the tradition of reading it to Tate on his birthday every year...I imagine him asking questions and adding his own thoughts as the years pass. It's just a little something to honor him so he knows how loved he is and was, from the day he was born!

Click here to view this photo book larger

If Life Were a Cartoon...

The other day, Tate and I visited Mark at work (with gramma, Aunt Alicia and cousins, too). We walked in and one of Mark's employees took one look at Tate and said, "He is sooooo Tommy Pickles!" I think she might be right*!

 *Tommy is known for being courageous, brave, and for compassionately sticking up for others. I hope Tate is one day known and respected for these same things!

Dear Tate - One Year Later

My blue-eyed boy,

A year ago today, I took - and "passed" - one of the most important tests of my life. It was on this day that your daddy and I learned you were growing inside mama's belly and would soon be gracing and changing our lives forever. On that fateful day, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and whispered to myself, "Oh, my..." over the amazing news I had just learned. Now, 365 days later, I cannot even begin to count how many times since that I've done just the same as I stared at you in wonder, so grateful to have you here with us now.

(iPhone tracking app entry from that day)

I remarked in my first post about the ride we were about to embark upon. I wasn't sure what was ahead of us or what to expect during my pregnancy. What I can tell you with certainty is that the ride was even more amazing than I could have ever hoped or asked for. Turns out, it was the kind that had me smiling so big my face hurt, forging new smile lines that I am proud to see now when I look in the mirror at the so-in-love mama you've made me.

It's been four months and three days since you were born, and in that short time I've become a more calm, centered person because of you. I often used to wonder if I would be an anxious mom, but the truth is you bring me so much comfort that I find myself now being able to set aside my worries and fears to just BE for the first time in my life. As long as I have your addictive head and sour cream breath to sniff, all is right in the world.

You are learning and doing so much these days; I find myself so excited to see what you'll do next. You are belly-laughing and reaching for toys to stuff into your mouth. You watch TV with a studied focus (oops?) and press the buttons to make your bouncy seat piano play music for you over and over again. You are drooling with gusto - doc thinks you might be teething already! - and try so hard to perfect your army crawl during tummy time. And just today you finally really noticed your fur-sisters (who love you very much and find you literally delicious with their licking) for the first time -- you heard Lucy bark at the mailman and then couldn't keep your eyes off her and Molly for minutes after. It felt like such a big moment, the start to a beautiful relationship between a boy and his dogs.

I was feeding you this afternoon as you drifted off to sleep when I got a tickle in my throat and coughed. The noise and movement caused you to jerk awake, and in that moment before your silent-cry turned into a hurt wail of confusion, I felt my heart break in two. I immediately pulled you into a hug and rocked you back and forth, whispering "there, there's" as I reeled over how completely terrible it felt to unintentionally scare you in that way. You see, my little one, it is mama's job to make sure you feel safe and loved, and in that moment I vowed - once again - to always do my best to make sure that's the case.

My 8-year career recently ended and I now have the privilege of spending all my days with you. While I only get paid in coos and drool, I can think of no job that is more important than the one I am doing. When I look back on my life years from now, I know I'll never think to myself, "Gosh, I wish I'd gotten a new job instead of taking some time to devote to my boy..." and it was this thinking that made me confident that staying at home with you was the right decision for me, for now. Besides, I really, truly think you are going to change the world some day, Tate. For what it's worth, you've already changed mine in more ways than I can count. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Forever grateful,

Your Mama

Tate Laughs!

Our boy has been giving us belly laughs for weeks (since 12/12/10), but we only just tonight got a good video of it. This, right here, is just one of many reasons why the late nights and occasionally cranky days are completely worth it. I'm so in love with this beautiful, laughing boy!


Tate laughs! from Amy B on Vimeo.