It's Out There (both the news and the belly!)

Given the fact that I totally "popped" this past weekend, I knew it was getting close to time to share the baby news with my coworkers.  I had shared the news with my boss last week, because we sat down to have a discussion and it seemed relevant at the time.  My boss, whom I LOVE, couldn't have responded more sweetly!  When I'd asked him if I could talk to him and walked in to close the door, he said, "You're not leaving me, are you?!" in a panic.  I told him, "Not yet!" and we went from there.  When I told him the great news, he jumped up from his desk, did a little jig and ran around his desk to give me a hug and a kiss.  I don't think anyone could ask for more from a boss when telling them they won't be working much longer!  I feel very lucky to have his support.

On the way home from visiting my parents last weekend, I stopped in Louisville on the way to visit Brianne, a friend who I hadn't seen in a REALLY long time. Upon returning to work, one of my coworkers - a sweet but gossipy one - asked how my trip was.  I told her it was great, and that it was also really fun because I got to stop to see a good friend who I hadn't seen in a long time.  She said, "OH, that's great, since you won't be able to do that a whole lot..."  I instantly got the sense that she KNEW I was pregnant.  I mean, why else would she say it that way?  I could have been wrong, but since she dates the brother of one of Mark's good friends who Mark HAD told, I knew it was time to share the news with everyone before she did.  I immediately went in to tell my boss that I'd be telling everyone at our staff meeting that morning.

We got into the conference room and my boss said, "Well, I wanted to tell you all that, come September, Amy will no longer be working with us....Amy? Would you like to fill them in on the details?" I felt shy suddenly, but squeaked out, "Um, I'm going to have the most important job there is...I'm going to be a mom!"  It was so dorky, but certainly did the trick.  Everyone seemed happy for me and I was glad to not have to suck in my gut anymore, since it was suddenly near impossible to do, anyway!

Now that my coworkers know, I'm pretty much open with everyone about it.  I haven't broken the news on FaceBook yet, but I think I will after our 16-week prenatal visit on the 8th. 

The one thing I find so strange about telling people I'm pregnant is that I always instantly feel as though I might as well be saying, "SO...I HAD SEX!"  I know this is silly and isn't at all what people think when they hear this, but I can't help but have that cross my mind every time.  I know, I know...you think I'm weird.  Wouldn't be the first time!

POP!

I made the 7-hour drive home to see my dad, Yom (my stepmom Carla, also known as Yom or "Your Other Mother"), and sister Rachel in Indiana this past weekend, and had an absolute blast!  It was a trip to simply visit, not for any specific reason, which is the best kind if you ask me.  I hadn't been home since late July and hadn't seen my parents since October!  We spent the time chilling out, eating, talking about nursery decorating ideas, and shopping for maternity clothes.  THAT was fun!

Rachel and I went into the fitting room and Carla sat outside waiting for me to show her things.  Now, something you should know is that Rachel and I are pretty ridiculous when we get together.  I realize that others might not find funny the things that totally crack us up, but what are you gonna do?  We went in there and were greeted by a wrap-around belly pillow to use as a stand-in for my soon-to-be-huge stomach.  If you've had the pleasure of trying one of those things on, you will know that it's kind of impossible to know which way it should go.  You will also know that it makes for one seriously lumpy bump!  We tried in vain to rig it up right and ended up laughing so hard I honestly thought I was going to wet my pants.  When we finally got it on, I started trying the clothes on and parading out to show Carla the different items.  That was when I realized there was a long line of..."muchly" pregnant woman waiting to get in the rooms.  And they weren't impressed by my fashion show, let me tell you.  I almost wished I had snacks to hand out to them all - I'm learning that snacks are valuable to a with-child woman!

I felt a bit silly purchasing all the loot I decided upon (sooo many cute things!!) because I hadn't even begun to look pregnant despite being 14+ weeks along.  Yet, as the weekend progressed, I kept saying, "I feel so bloated!" and would look down at my rounder-by-the-minute stomach.  By Sunday, Rachel finally said to me, "Amy, I think you have to stop saying that...you're not bloated, YOU'RE PREGNANT!"  The girl had a point, and the point was this: I had officially *POPPED*.  Since then, my stomach has gotten a bit bigger by the day and I couldn't be happier.  I'm earning this bump, folks, and I'm going to wear it with pride.

Now where is my granola bar?!

"Dear Chickpea" - A Letter From Mama

Dear Chickpea,

You are only the size of a plum in my belly right now, and already I feel this strong urge to protect you, to make sure you are always taken care of, healthy, loved.  I can’t help but think about all the things I will one day hope to prevent you from having to endure.  So many things come to mind…

I never want you to be left standing, hoping someone will ask you to dance;

I don’t want you to have to defend yourself on the playground when a bully teases your name or what you’re wearing that day;

I never want you to be too hard on yourself to the point that you push yourself to perfection that only leads to inevitable failure;

I don’t want you to hide behind your books, worried that you aren’t liked enough…or smart enough;

I never want you to clap your hands over your ears to filter out any amount of screaming, or to ever bite your lip in fear;

I feel my heart break already, thinking about the day the person who has stolen your heart tells you they don’t love you the same way;

I don’t want you to have to pretend to be someone you aren’t in an attempt to gain friends that aren’t good for you;

I never want to see you sick or helpless…

My heart will want to prevent these – and so many other - things from happening to sweet, amazing you, but my head already knows that no matter how hard I try, life has a funny way of happening regardless of what I do.  I also know that a person grows and becomes who they are meant to be as much from experiencing the great things in life as they do from the sad, scary, or frustrating things that happen beyond their control.  Someday I will have to remind myself of that, must make it my mantra when I see you falter or cry.  But baby, don’t doubt for one second my love for you, my desire to want to take for myself all the future pain and sadness yet to come so you don’t ever have to witness it for yourself. 

I love you forever,

Mama

Hork and Windy

Soooooooo.  You know how I was whining back in the day about not feeling sick, because I was worried this meant things weren't progressing as they should?  WELL.  I made it through the entire first trimester without a lick of sickness, only to begin throwing up at 12.5 weeks.  How do ya like them apples?

Hmmm...apples - I don't think those would go well with stomach acid.

Over the past few days, I've been learning ways I can avoid the run to the toilet (although I had to make due with the kitchen sink one day...).  I absolutely CANNOT skip breakfast, and eating it in bed to allow for no movements seems to help.  Also, brushing my teeth presents new challenges, so I have to be careful not to brush my tongue too far back or else I lose the breakfast immediately.  I also learned the hard way that you should always have a spare plastic bag in your car (and purse!) so you don't have to drive to work with your window down on the expressway in 40 degree weather.  The strangest thing is that I pretty much have no warning.  I go from feeling fine to feeling nauseous, to throwing up in a matter of seconds, only to feel pretty much back to normal 5 minutes later.  I'm not complaining; I know it could be so much worse, but I do feel like someone could have warned me that this could come out of nowhere in the 2nd trimester!

Aside from that less-than-ideal symptom, I've been feeling really good.  SUPER gassy and constipated, but I can handle that.  The other night, I looked at Mark and said, "How can you handle how SEXY I am?!" after breaking wind.  He said it's a tough job, but someone has to do it.  He's such a peach.

P.S. If you get the reference in my title, you're my new best friend.  HEE!

Relief

Yesterday we had our 12-week ultrasound.  I was naturally pretty nervous going there, since this was to be the first time seeing the baby since the bleeding scare.  I was also super excited!  Originally, we weren't going to do an early ultrasound (which includes a nucal screening to check for Down Syndrome and blood tests to look for other complications) since it wouldn't have mattered if the results showed problems - we are having this baby no matter what!  But when we went in after the E.R. visit, our doctor thought it might give us some added reassurance to see the baby earlier than the typical 19-20 week ultrasound, so we hopped at the chance to see Chickpea again.

I had to drink a TON of water beforehand, so by the time we got to the doctor's office, I was literally hopping from foot to foot, trying not to embarrass myself with a pants-wetting experience.  They brought us into the room and I said to the tech, "So, are you the one I'll be trying not to pee on?" She didn't think I was very funny.  Hrrrmp.  ANYWAY, she pulled my pants lower, squirted my stomach with warm ultrasound gel, and got to work.  Within seconds, we could see our baby moving around with a strong heartbeat.  Sweetest sound EVER!  It was such a relief to see and hear.  And this time, unlike the E.R. visit (protocol and such), we got to take home pictures to adorn our fridge!  Would you look at that sweetheart?

Judging from the size of the head, it's gonna be a smart one...don't you think*?  ;o)

*Juuuust kidding! At this stage, the babies head is supposed to be as big or bigger than the body.  But as the mom, it's in my nature to make these complimentary assumptions, right?

HACK, COUGH, WHEEZE

HALP!  I'm sooooo sick and feel like I might die.  I know that sounds dramatic, but being sick while pregnant is really sucktastic.  On Sunday night, I went to bed feeling fine, only to wake up around 3am with a terrible cough that migrated from my chest.  It was the strangest thing how quickly it hit me.  I'd seen my sister and her family on Saturday, and as you know, kiddos are like the cutest petri dishes EVER.  It's clear now that I caught something that Gavin was sharing.

Since Sunday, I've only gotten sicker.  I can barely breathe and my throat is on fire.  The coughing has produced an array of colorful things, and I've been running a fever off and on.  I actually took THREE days off work!  I don't think I've ever taken that much time off in a row with the exception of the time in 2004 that I had my tonsil's taken out and tubes put in my ears - yes, I went from 27 to 5 years old that week.  The worst part is that I can't take anything, other than the antibiotic my doctor prescribed (and don't think I'm happy about taking that!) because of the risk of harming the baby.  Today I got into work and everyone was literally backing away from me.  I can't say I blame them, but what am I gonna do?  I have to work, and now that I no longer have the fever, work I shall.  Doesn't mean I SOUND healthy or like I should be here.  It's pretty pathetic, actually.

OK, off I go to blow my nose again.  AHHHHHCHEW!

Postscript Update:
This stupid sickness lasted almost 2 weeks, but I'm finally feeling human again. WOOT!!  My nose, however, is missing a layer of skin.  SEX-AY!