Wednesday, October 6, 2010

"Dear Tate" - A Letter From Mama

Dear Tate,

I was holding you just now while checking emails with one hand when I looked down in time to catch you giving the biggest smile I've seen from you yet.  And I swear, when I saw this, my heart stopped, my stomach did a happy flip, and tears sprung to my eyes.

"They" say newborn babies don't smile knowingly, but I'm calling "their" bluff.  There have been many times in the three wonderful weeks you've been in our life that I've begun talking to you or laughed after a bit of silence, only to be rewarded with a beautiful smile from you.  In that instant, I know you know me, that you remember being inside my belly hearing me talk and laugh during what was - up until now - the happiest time of my life.  This is why the tears show in these moments, my sweet boy.  Because now you are here and my life is filled with even more smiles.

Milk-drunk
I stare at you all day long, and cherish the early morning feedings with you the most.  All is quiet and you cuddle up to my chest and drink in what my body creates just for you.  You make little flying geese sounds as you suckle, and sigh contentedly as I pull you to my shoulder to burp you.  To the outside world it might not sound like much, but to me it's the most important thing I've ever done or will do.

You are my heart.  Until there was you, I was aware of only half my ability to love.

Forever yours,

Mama

6 comments:

  1. I know that I'm older than you but... will you adopt me?

    PS. Don't worry -- I don't even like milk, so if you'd just throw me a Diet Coke every once in a while, all's good. I just want to get letters like that.

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  2. I told you it was going to be AWESOME! There is NOTHING better! I'm so happy for you Amy! Can't wait to see you guys...SOON! Love and Hugs!!!

    Oh, and babies totally smile! What do "they" know?!

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  3. This is so sweet. Every baby should be so lucky to have their mamas put their love into beautiful written words.... but they aren't. Tate is just special, because he has you!

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  4. Okay, I thought you making us tear up would be over with once you had the baby. Apparently not. But thanks Dawn for immediate laughter after I read that post. Your comment rocked!

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  5. Alright. I should probably just not read for a while. OR I need to have many tissues prepared.

    Sigh.

    Love it! :)

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  6. "Might not sound like much?" My dear, it sounds like the whole world to me. YOUR whole world. Which makes it amazing and miraculous and astounding.

    Though my maternal instincts are misguided toward other species, I do know exactly what you are talking about. I stare at Charcoal as he lies on my chest every night and remember bottle feeding him and think what his or my life would have been without each other, and I feel so full of love and amazement that the tears run over. I get it. You feel like your heart would positively explode if you loved him anymore, right? Like you could just look at him every second of every day and feel like every moment was just as fascinating as the last? And it is! Because he is the love of your life :) You gave him life, you nourish him in every way possible each and every day. I have no doubt he smiles at you, both inside and out!

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Please leave a comment! It will be fun for Tate to look back on some day... :o)